Ari nih cuti kat Msia, tapi tak de cuti kat sini. Hmmm, dalam my last post aku ada cite pasal raksaksa geram kan. Kepada sape-sape yang terasa, *nasib la*. I am not sure if there are other people out there who would understand what this post rambles about. I just want to share how I feel. The only person that I could think about who would probably relate to this post is K. Zill agaknya. This thingamabob abt the Raksaksa thingy has been going on quite some time starting earlier this year. Most of the times, we are just so much into our own realm of the shoulds and the should-nots, withdrawing any consequences of what others around you might feel. Fine, I am guilty of that. I always know that I am such a loud person. But that doesn't mean I do not have any compassion at all. I thought I'd loosen up a bit and start to listen more. Hey, I did try ok, but am I at fault too when I find things are taken for granted, thus becoming more annoying? Did I ever encourage it to form part of a routine? Maybe. But don't we need to know when to linger around or when to back off a bit? Not all do, I suppose. That reminds me of K. Nora's post on sindir menyindir. Kalau dah cakap tak nak dengo, dah tunjuk tak nak nengok, ateeeee mcm mana ke gayanya?? What about the respect to others of their privacy?
Yes, I am a very private person, esp. to those who merely know me. There are things that I have kept so deep in me that I will not share with any souls, ever. Yes, I am a very sensitive person too, for I can sense and read most of the intended & unintended meaning(s) in most situations. I can also be the opposite if I find a person is beyond the acceptable limti. Come on, you need to be aware of the given situation too. Contohnya la, it doesn't mean if you like blue, the others would be too. It doesn't if you are in love with Tom Cruise, the others would love him to bits too. It doesn't mean if you are bored, the others would feel the same. It doesn't mean if you like gulai lemak labu so much, I would too. This is just a simple and logical reasoning. Take a look around you - Are they the same like you? OR are they different than you?
Well, the point that I'm trying to establish here is that, I can be selfish in putting a value to my "sanctuary". Really, it's nothing outlandish, nothing bizarre at all. By that, I meant my very own SPACE. The space, my friend, is my most treasured retreat here. My sanctuary. I might be living like a hermit, but that gives me the peacefulness and the strength that I am looking for. I admit that no man is an island, there are times when I need the company of others too. Yet my recluse also has provided me with some kind of positive self-refuge --> to nurture myself, to hold me up. Call it whatever you want, but it is my hide-out, be it cool or bleak. I choose that, SOME SPACE just to collect my sanity and to reflect the hustle and bustle at the end of each day. No frills added. Just me. So, please do not expect me (*or anyone else for that matter) to issue you the "invite" to my (*or his/her/their) sanctuary(ies). Some things are better left unsaid for what you will see/hear might not spell paradise.
Now, is it you who' s "knocking" on the door of my sanctuary? Read this: NO ONE'S HOME. Hahahahahahahaha ... Selamat Hari Buruh dari Perth :)
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